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Thursday, 21 November 2013

I'm a Celebrity - Not

Another hilarious day in the celebrity camps (and with some of the camp celebrities). I honestly couldn't write this stuff better myself.  We discovered already that Rebecca pees in the pool and now she divulges that she watches porn with her parents. At least there is hopefully parental control over which porn they watch.

She was asked by a fan how everyone in camp is getting along to which she replied that everyone is getting along and that no-one irritates anyone else.  Hmmm, I think that one may come back to bite you Rebecca.  Alsonso described the experience as 'a process.' EVERYTHING is 'a process' in America. A kindergartener gets looked at in a funny way in the playground/yard; he has to 'process' that in order to move on.  He processed the fact that Lucy woke up with a sore throat and concluded it was because she didn't wear enough clothes - so this full blooded male wants one of the women to put more clothes on - another 'camp' celebrity...


There were more astounding revelations about just how dim Joey is (appropriate name for any of you old enough to remember his namesake from Blue Peter).  We found out that he couldn't tell the time and now it is revealed that he has never learned to blow his nose.  How can someone not figure out how to blow their nose? You breath through it for goodness sake, just do an enthusiastic breath out!! So instead he stuffs his nose with tissue - a bit like a nostril tampon! Better make sure the string is hanging out Joey as there is plenty of vacant space above where it could get lost.

What is he thinking? Oh silly me - absolutely nothing...

# vacant

 On to the 'up your neck in it' challenge. Joey says he is 'trying to not think about it' – well that won’t be too difficult Joey! The trial entailed being submerged up to their necks in rice and then periodically having various insects released into the tank above them.  Joey was freaked out by a millipede. 'OMG what is that?' he asks. 'A millipede' he is told  'what does that do?' What do you mean what does a millipede do? - it crawls around and eats and sh*ts what do you think it does? Or were you wondering what it does on a Saturday night? He also expressed concern over crabs in his hair - enough said....

Once again Joey and Matthew see the challenge through to a tie breaker.  This involves counting up to 60 seconds -nearest one wins.  This could have proved difficult for Joey as he can't tell time, but he comes out triumphant and goes back to camp to brag. He is very proud of the fact that he can count. 'I used to count all the time.' Really Joey, well what a shame that the University of Essex didn't offer a degree in it.

When he later laments the fact that the challenge has given him neck ache, Amy kindly offers him a 'rub.' This makes Rebecca very uncomfortable – 'I feel like I am watching porn with my parents' – oh was that a frequent past time in the Addlington household?  And we thought the wet patch on the sofa was because of a little pool water leakage when you coughed.

Other memorable bits were Joey losing the physical challenge after using every tactic he had in his head. Well there's a surprise that all 2 of them didn't work!  Finally my favourite bit was Joey looking in the mirror with an adoring look on his face and basically telling himself how much he had missed himself because he hadn't seen himself in ages - well not for about an hour anyway.

# vain doesn't even cut it

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