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Saturday, 25 January 2014

Get your tits out because you love me.

Just when you thought you had seen the worst male invention ever!!

One of my Facebook friends posted this advert on his page today:

So let’s get this right....this bra detects when the wearer is ‘in love’ with the person they are with; thereby letting them know when they have found ‘the one.’  This must have been invented by a man, because since when did falling in love have anything to do with only how the woman feels? Surely how the man feels is the main indicator a woman needs to know.  For God’s sake women will fall in love with anyone who takes out the trash and cooks dinner once a week, but your bra popping off on a regular basis sure as hell doesn’t mean he is the one! Nor that he will stick around til Christmas!! 

What base is a grope of someone's tits?  Do the Japanese honestly believe that today's man in our 'instant gratification' society is going to wait; knowing that she has to fall in love with home before he will even get to 4th base, let along get a home run! And, if the guy knows what unlocks the bra,  you won't see him for dust after he has had a quick grope of your newly released, voluptous breasts.

 No, what we women need - all you male inventors out there - is a similar piece of underwear for yourselves!  Ladies, imagine your partner’s bits being locked away in his budgie smuggler until he falls in love with you and voila out pops his manhood.  Knowing without doubt that he is totally in love with you would be THE best aphrodisiac, wouldn’t it?  And think of all the crap we wouldn’t have to put up with.  No more crass chat up lines, and empty phrases like ‘I can’t wait for you to meet my family,’   ‘I have never fallen for someone this fast before,’ ‘Without getting carried away; I think you could be everything I have ever looked for.’  (Writing these down, I can’t believe I ever bl**dy fell for these lines....) So long as that lock stays tight we know he is talking crap....

This would get the job done wouldn't it! I don't know about smuggling your budgie in here it looks like it has quite the pecker on it already! 

Again, this would keep his ardour in check.  If he disappears before the anniversary you could at least upcycle it as a lemon squeezer!  

Wow! These look figure hugging.  I wonder how many sizes they come in?? Love the Camo one! Always fancied a man in fatigues!!  Again I could add a redundant one of these to my kitchen implements as a pepper or salt mill! Or the handle on a walking stick - my Nana would have loved one of these!

# not tonight dear, I've lost the key...