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Friday, 1 November 2013

Finding Love Online - Not!

I am constantly amused and amazed by the little adverts that pop up alongside my timeline on Facebook.

For instance I find it amazing that someone out there knows what I have been searching for online.  I was looking at juicers the other day and sure enough, within 24 hours the very juicer I had read up about appears in its little advertising box to tempt me.

Also, FB knows that I am single and constantly feeds me with advertisements of attractive men who are interested in me - supposedly.  I would find this flattering but I have become wise to this.  When I was on I was contacted by a man who appears in all their online advertisments - you know the one, it has the photos of about 16 different men; all pretty hot and all supposedly looking for love.  So when one of the most attractive of them sent me a personal message on the site I was more than flattered. We had a short correspondence inwhich he asked me how I was finding the site and if I had been on many dates.  I answered him and never heard from him again.  Obviously a plant, paid by to do market research!! So beware the good looking men in internet dating site adverts.

Anyway, I thought I would share some of these FB adverts with you.

On this occasion I got two for the price of one! Adam and Pilot Man.  Unlike a BOGOF offer this could be a FOGOF offer!

Adam and Pilot Man - 2 good looking guys.  What I want to know is what gesture Adam has made to me??? To me a gesture is putting two fingers up or the middle finger, or possibly the 'call me' gesture.  Going into your local bar on a Friday night could be a whole lot more entertaining, if, instead of giving you the eye someone gave you the finger wouldn't it.  Picture the scene - a bar 3 deep in men all making lewd gestures while they look out at the sea of women in their friday night heels with fruity cocktail in hand.  It would be like a dating night for deaf t*urettes sufferers wouldn't it (see my first post)

And the other guy has whispered to me!  How do you whisper online? We all know HOW TO SHOUT but how do you whisper???  What really puts me off the second guy is that he 'thinks I could be interested.'  Oh really! How does he figure that out?  If he came up to me in a bar and whispered in my ear 'I think you could be interested.'  I would tell him to cancel the ticket for his ego trip and 'F*ck off'!!

Another good looking guy and by coincidence his name is also Adam and he too is 1.3 miles away from me.  How the heck do they know that!? Is he fitted with a GPS chip up his a*rse?  How do they know where I am? I could be visiting my Aunt Gladys in Glasgow for the week and he could be on business in Delhi.  

Here we go again.... Faithful women NEEDED.  Why would you NEED a faithful woman? Surely you would WANT a faithful woman.  No, what I need, but what doesn't seem to exist in the world of internet dating is a faithful man!!  Now if that had read 'faithful men looking for love' I might have been interested (after taking a huge dose of salt that is).

This guy sort of looks like Pilot Man who I am supposedly interested in, doesn't he!  I am now being invited to go onto 'Cupid' and find people I know!  Why the h*ll would I want to pay £40 a month to find someone I already know on a dating site?  Am I not on the site in the first place because everyone I know either doesn't fancy me, is married, I have already dated or I didn't want to date in the first place?  I mean come on!  Why on earth don't they put 'Browse photos of single men near you! You might see someone you want to get to know.'
Oh, look who's cropped up again today!  Adam, no John???? Poor guy, how does he expect to hold down a relationship when he can't even remember his own name.  Certainly no hope of him remembering mine!!

Being incredibly cynical I would not be surprised if, when you go on sites through these adverts on FB this is how your information gets used to set up bogus profiles on the hundreds of dating sites like those advertised above.  For all we know these men have not agreed to have their photos shown or are being paid to do so.

# what you see is not what you get

© Claire Pryce and Pushing 50 in a 40 Zone, October 2013 to date.

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