Twix - Are you a leftie or a rightie?

Is it just me, or is Twix's current ad campaign fundamentally flawed - or does it just have me floored?

You all know the one I mean - it centres around the rivalry of two brothers in bygone times who liturally split the business into two because of a family feud. Hence the 'left Twix' factory and 'right Twix' factory.  Why didn't one of them just buy the other out and go and retire to Bath?

We can see right from the offset that these brothers were at the back of the queue for common sense, as they only built a one way driveway - dahhhhhh!  Also, if one facility is manufacturing the left twix and the other the right - where are they packaged?  I don't see any common ground between the two factories where this minor operation could take place - do you?  Is there a network of underground rooms and corridors full of Twix espionage, I wonder.   Is there a subterrean packaging plant run by 'neutrals' who are neither lefties or righties?  Or do they outsource this part of the operation to China? 

And who delivers the packaged rival bars?  The 'Leftie' van or the 'Rightie' van?  What if customers start ordering only Lefties because there is a higher demand - what then???

Let us look at a bar of Twix (I hardly dare open it; knowing the bitter rivalry that lies within - will there be caramel everywhere where the two bars have had it out?) and determine how this concept pans out in practice.

Here is a bar of Twix.  Which way will you open it?  Is there a right or wrong way up? Does the 'T' represent 'Top' and the 'X' represent 'wrong'.  Who knows??? But we need to know this, as it is of paramount importance if we want to join the 'left' or 'right' camp!  If we open it the wrong way up then the 'right' bar becomes the 'left' bar and the 'left' bar becomes the 'right' bar. Similarly we would need to have the name Twix facing us otherwise the 'left' becomes the 'right' and the 'right' becomes the 'left' if the bar is back to front.

What if the Twix is lying flat on the table in front of you.  Should we be choosing the 'nearest' or the 'furthest' finger?

And to make things even worse:

Where the f*ck will our allegiance lie now?  Should I choose the left, middle or right finger? Who makes the middle finger (no-one is going to choose this one!) for crying out loud?

Or this:

Heaven knows if these are left, right or somewhere inbetween fingers? 

What if one of the Twix brothers came up with a new name for his bar.  One could 'be Twix' and the other could 'be Tween.'  Now that's a good idea, then it doesn't matter how the h*ll we open them - right side up, upside down, back to front, down the middle or however...

Personally I prefer:

But should I eat....

The top deck or the bottom deck - the 'D'drivers end or the 'R'rear end?

Who ever said that eating chocolate makes you feel good - all this decision making is giving me a headache.

#chocolate? #not #tonight #Dear